


Don't You Dare Sporkie!!!!

by Lilly_Riches



Series: One-Shots [10]
Category: Game Grumps, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Arin's a spork, Break Up, Burnt Cake, EVERYTHING GETS FIXED, Food, Gay, Infidelity, M/M, No Smut, Once Upon a Time (TV) References, Sad and Depressed, Sporks, Suicide Attempt, and on crack, chocolate cake, chocolate therapy, it's trash, it's weird - Freeform, mark's gay and confused, obviously, only a little shipping, sean has a conversation with a spork, the spork tries to commit suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 18:55:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16792765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilly_Riches/pseuds/Lilly_Riches





	Don't You Dare Sporkie!!!!

I was in the kitchen, baking a chocolate cake, because who doesn't love a good chocolate cake? The best part was that I had chocolate frosting and chocolate sprinkles to go with the chocolate cake. Why all the chocolate, you ask? Well, here's the story.

Let's start from the beginning. 27 years ago, somewhere in Ireland, a guy named Sean William McLoughlin was born, but all his friends called him Jack. That's me. Some-a lot-of years later, I discovered Youtube, became a youtuber, and met a guy named Mark. I fell for Mark-HARD-and like, two years after we met, we got together and started dating. We were like, 24, I think. Well, I broke up with Mark a week ago when I caught him cheating on me with some guy named Felix Kjellberg, who was from Sweden. And even though I know Mark was a total douche, I still miss him, cause we'd been dating for three years, and they were a good three years. So I'm going through chocolate therapy.

I was just putting the cake into the oven when I heard a tiny voice.

"Sayanora, depressing life!" The voice cried, and I turned around to see a spork about to cut its head off with a really tiny knife. I picked the spork up and ripped the knife out of its really tiny hand.

"What are you doing?" I asked. In the back of my mind, I knew that I was probably going crazy, because sporks don't talk, and they certainly don't try to commit suicide. It was probably just my mind giving me hints, but I was going to ignore them.

"What does it look like I'm doing, you idiot?" The spork snapped at me. I couldn't see a face, but I figured, if the spork had arms, it probably had a face, and legs, and feet.

"It looks like you were trying to commit suicide. I just want to know why."

"Well, if you must know, my family dropped dead yesterday, and now the other sporks have chased me out of the drawer. I can't stay up here, alone. IT RUINS A SPORK!!!!!" I could hear tiny sobs coming from the spork, and I gave it a hug the best I could, trying not to squish it or anything.

"It'll be okay, little sporkie." The spork made a sound of disgust.

"My name's not 'little sporkie,' it's Arin. Now, will you let me continue what I was doing?"

"Arin, I know things seem really bad right now, but you can't just go and commit suicide, it's not right. I won't let you take your little spork life." I vowed.

"You can't stop me, you're a pathetic giant called Sean." The spork scoffed.

"Jack." I corrected. "And yes, I can stop you, because you're a spork and I don't think sporks can really do all that much. Now, how about you and me have ice cream and watch stupid reality TV shows. That always makes me feel better."

"You're a freaking nerd." The spork sighed. "Besides, reality TV sucks. If you're going to watch something, watch Once Upon A Time, that show rocks. I heard they're coming out with a season seven."

"Yeah, which is gonna suck because Emma Swan isn't going to be with Hook, because the actress for Emma Swan isn't coming back. Do you know what that'll do to Captain Swan fans?" I raged.

"Captain Swan is dead, they don't look good together. SWANFIRE FOR LIFE! Hook should be with Belle, and Rumplestiltskin can screw him himself." The spork-Arin-shouted. I shook my head.

"Let's not fight about this right now, cause it's going to get out of hand. I can guarantee that." The spork seemed to nod, it's little sporkie head bended a bit before straightening up again.

"What's that smell?" Arin asked, and my eyes widened as I realized what had happened.

"OH SH*T!" I shouted as I got the cake out of the oven. Well, the cake wasn't that bad, if I cut off the bottom of it. The chocolate therapy was still in session, YES!

"What's the cake for?" Sporkie asked.

"Chocolate therapy always helps the sad and depressed." I commented as I got down the frosting and sprinkles.

"Well, you know why I'm sad and depressed, but why are you sad and depressed?" Arin asked. I had set him down on the counter, and he had just taken a small crumb off the cake. I didn't know utensils could eat.

"Well, my boyfriend and I had been dating for three years, when I found out last week he was cheating on me. So I broke it off, but I still miss him." I confessed. Anybody who looked into the window would probably think I was crazy, because I was talking to an inanimate object, but I felt I needed to talk to someone.

"Sounds like a d*ckbag. You're better off without him. Soon enough, you'll find another guy who's actually worth it. But you better hurry up, soon you'll look old and even uglier than you look now." I glared down at the spork, who just laughed. As I was about to come up with a witty comeback, the doorbell rang. I went to answer the door, and lo and behold, there was Mark. He started saying stuff right away, trying to apologize.

"Look, Jack, I'm so sorry, I swear it was a one-time thing, I would never try to hurt you like that, not ever, I love you too much to do that, I was drunk, and I wasn't thinking straight, and everything started to look the same, and he kinda looked like you, he had an accent, and-" I started tuning out Mark's rant as Arin climbed up onto my shoulder and started talking to me.

"Ya know, he seems pretty sincere. I think you should take him back, but remember to take it slow at first. Make him re-earn your trust, and if it happens again, it'll really be over. I know you think I'm just a spork, but sporks go through these kinds of things too. You just don't pay enough attention to see it happening." Arin then sat down, apparently done giving advice. I realized Mark was just staring at me, waiting for me to say something. I huffed out a sigh.

"Look, it's going to take some time, okay? I still gotta think things through, and we can't just go back to how we were. You're going to have to re-earn my trust. And if it EVER happens again, I swear we will be through." Mark nodded in agreement to my terms, and I was happy we were back together. Although I was going to be wary for a while.

"By the way, why is there a spork on your shoulder?"


End file.
